Every day I don’t cut is a reason to be thankful. I may not feel this way tomorrow … or the next … or hell, even an hour from now. I mean look at my track record right?
Walmart is not even on my top ten list of fave places. It triggers, it irritates, it’s crowded, the parking lot makes me want to engage in a brutal game of bumper cars … etc. Tonight, I had to go. While I had a good and more or less peaceful day today … I was still tired and wanted to get out of the store quickly.
Cutting is in the back of my mind constantly. It is often hard to shift the focus onto other tasks or people some times, even on decent days. Tonight, while exiting the store, it crossed my mind … there are people all around you, you don’t have to be stuck in your own head … everyone has issues. Be the blessing.
So maybe it didn’t exactly sound like that in the moment, but rather my interpretation looking back on it. There was an elderly lady who had 4 bags of groceries. She was preparing to load them into the car just in front of the door while her husband sat in the driver seat. I offered to help … she graciously accepted. I walked to my car.
I loaded my own things up, and I couldn’t help but notice a lady. She was parked across from me. I mustered up some courage and walked over offering help. She had a very full cart with probably 15 bags. She looked like the type that just needed someone to be mad at. I expected a rude or hostile response. Instead I was met with shock, smiles, and a friendly chat.
Why are you so nice?! You just don’t know how much I appreciate this. I love your toenails. I’m gonna make my husband unload them when I get home!
It was a sweet experience. Every day I want to cut or lash out in some way, I will try to remember that it’s not just me fighting to survive every day life. One small thing done for somebody else can be the difference. “Why are you so nice?!” Seriously … why not? We just expect people to be rude, uncaring, self centered … and the list goes on. Why not prove people wrong? It might not be a life changing event for anyone … but it’s a start to bless their day … and it’s a good reminder to reach out beyond yourself if you need to change perspective.
Maybe if I do something kind every day for someone else, I’ll better learn to appreciate what I have …
It’s a thought anyway. I guess I’ll see what tomorrow offers me.